Monday, October 15, 2012
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Skills
Wednesday, February 17, 2010
Imagine
It's easy if you try
No corruption to fool us
Principles, not Pie in the sky
Imagine every person
Working everyday
Imagine there's cooperation
It isn't hard to do
Nothing to argue or fight for
And religion is ok too
Imagine all the people
Living life in peace
You may say its a pipe dream
But we each can be the one
To work to keep our freedom
In a nation that works as one
Imagine responsible Government
I wonder if you can
No need for debt or bail outs
A Constitutional plan
Imagine all the people
Solving all this way
You may say it can’t happen
But it was already done
As one Nation Under God
Can regain a will to live as one
With apologies to John Lennon
Thursday, November 5, 2009
So I Changed my Mind.
1966…43 years ago, I was 12. I was a Dodger fan. I’m still a Dodger fan, so this year didn’t end right. Never-the-less in 1966 I picked the Dodgers to win the World Series. They had the previous year or two. But
This year I opened my big mouth and let the world know of my record. I had chosen correctly in 42 straight series. This year I picked Phillies over the Yankees. It went against what everyone else in the sports world was saying, but I’ve been there before. I had to brag about it. I’ve told a few people in the past but never the whole internet on Face Book. I even had people defending my knowledge of baseball, which isn’t as vast as some people think…but I won’t tell them that.
The truth is I knew by game 2 I was wrong. Here’s what happened. I hadn’t seen the Phillies pitching really. I figured it would hold up from last year and with Cliff Lee in there they should be able to handle the Yankees, I didn’t know Hammels and Lidge didn’t show up this year and at least one of them wanted to take his ball and go home early.
You need to know I don’t hate the Yankees. I really like a lot of the players on the team. I still can’t figure out what Mario Rivera does that is so effective. It just is. I think it’s probably psychological mostly. That’s the only thing I see going on. Anyway, when Yankee pitching shut down some of the Phillies hitting, the writing was on the wall. When your big gun sets a World Series record for most Strike Outs in a Series, there’s a problem. Utley went nuts, and Wade had his moments, but it was usually with the bases empty.
Both teams deserved to be there and either one could have won. It was a pretty evenly matched couple of teams. It was a good series. But now I have to hate them both like the Orioles. They made me look pretty stupid. You don’t mess with a 42 year record, even if you are the Yankees. I’m not real great at anything else, just getting the World Series right (technically I did this time too, but it wasn’t until game 2).
That leaves me thinking I will never again say it out loud to anyone ever again. I’m not a gambler so I’ll never get anything out of it except some satisfaction. But then I can change my mind once I see the match up and not spout off to the world.
I do have to say nobody has really rubbed it in. I’m hoping they forgot about it. If that’s the case then I can still claim an extension on my record. But don’t ask, and don’t tell is now my policy, and you’ll never know if I’m telling you the truth or not if you ask and I do pick a team, because this is now just my fun thing and mine alone. I’ve been chastened and humbled and have learned my lesson. Well at least until next October.
Tuesday, September 15, 2009
Flowers, Witches and Other Thoughts
My wife is always asking me out of the blue, “So what do you think?” I’ve learned that it’s not always a good idea to tell her. It usually ends up with her crying and me feeling like scum; not that the thoughts are bad. It just gets her talking and pretty soon I’m in trouble for one reason or another.
For instance, I was remembering a flower show we used to hold in elementary school years ago. If I were to tell her I was thinking about that, pretty soon she’d be saying things like, “So who did you bring your flowers for?”. You see what I mean. The problem is we went to the same elementary school and grew up with the same people, so any mention of any person leads her to wonder if I’m having an old fling come back. The fact I haven’t seen anybody we grew up with since high school doesn’t matter. I have learned though most people change so much after 30 plus years you don’t recognized them anyway.
It was a pretty neat thing, the flower show. We all brought our entries and the school people put them in the gymnasium on bleachers and tables and stuff. We would get to get out of class and go walk through them all. Hay fever aside it was really quite fun, walking the aisles with your arms folded so you wouldn’t touch anything, trying to find your own floral wonder, and of course you had to admire your friend’s entry. By then the judges made their decisions. You could see if you won a ribbon. I won a red 2nd place ribbon once. The closest I ever got to being somebody in elementary school.
There was an assembly at the end of the week and they called you up to the stage to get your ribbon. This wasn’t just any old assembly either because the parents got to come too. Everyone knew it was the Mom’s who put the arrangements together, but we pretended we did it (trust me Moms can be just as bad as Dads and Pinewood Derby cars). So the moms who came were just as enthusiastic with the awards ceremony.
I have no idea what I took that won 2nd place, but I do remember one particularly embarrassing year. My mother made me take weeds. She told me to go out in the field behind our house and pick weeds. For heaven’s sakes this is a flower show, not a weed show. I thought you tried to get rid of weeds out of the flower beds. How humiliating. I don’t remember if I went ahead and entered the weeds or not. For all I know they won second place. Usually I took Irises. We had a ton of those (talk about weeds). I hated them. I still do.
Another time my mother, who I swear was on a “ruin the kid’s life kick” (this had to be the same year as the weeds), for Halloween I had to wear a costume to school. My mother made me go as a witch. A witch! How humiliating is that to a 3rd grade boy? She explained the idea is to be something different so that no one knows who you are. I bought it. So I wore it. Things would have been just fine until they made you stand up and take off your mask and tell everyone what you were. They all laughed, especially the boys who were cool. They were Zorro and Lone Ranger and Superman and cool things. I was a witch. I wanted someone to throw water at me so I would melt right then and there. My mom thought it was funny. I didn’t dare tell her what I was thinking. It must have started about then. I wonder if Obama ever had to dress up as a witch. It could explain a few things.
Monday, June 8, 2009
A Grand Slam Life
I watched him start out pretty bad, and end up one of the best. His coach called him Corny. I never quite knew why, but knowing his happy go lucky personality and pension for joking around I suspect it was related to that. He had a way of being at bat when the bases were loaded in his last year of little league. I’ve never seen someone hit so many grand slams in my life.
I remember watching him in an all-star game….the bases were loaded. I turned to the score keeper next to me and said you watch he’s going to belt it out of here. She didn’t appreciate that because her son was pitching I think. Corny not only belted it out of the park he smashed that ball to bits. It was a long homerun.
I remember talking to him a few years later about religion. He was about 15 and wondering. He never came to terms with it that I ever knew. I lost touch with the family for years. Though every now and then we’d run into each other.
I last saw them at my father’s funeral. They all came. Being a member of the family I really didn’t get to sit with them all that I wanted to. My wife told me afterward that his mother told her that Corny had cancer. After things settled down I desperately tried to find email addresses, I did find some home addresses. I should have written. As usual I struck out. Face Book finally came through, but a month too late.
In life he and his family are in my mind the equivalent of a grand slam; kind, generous, friends, almost family. But, I’m upset that I missed his funeral, and wasn’t there for them after they were there for me. I will always remember his happy smile, his fun loving character, and his love for his family. He is missed and one day I hope to be able to announce another of his ball games, talk to him about life, about work, about him with him.
Corny isn’t wondering about religion anymore, except perhaps to pick up things he didn’t learn here. As far as I know he was as knowledgeable as any bishop. But if he didn’t he now knows there’s more than what is here on this earth. There are friends and family that he may have never met there with him now. Maybe he looked my Dad and his old coach up. One day I feel sure I’ll see him again. I know he’ll live again in a resurrected body; one that won’t betray him again. Don’t keep the bench warm for me Corny, I’ll be there soon enough, but make sure the microphone works when I get there.
Friday, June 5, 2009
The Best of the Best
That’s all very interesting, but I got thinking (I did too!) what is the greatest Rock and Roll band? These are my choices: The Beatles, Rolling Stones, the Who, Credence Clearwater Revival, and the Beach Boys. The Beatles would beat the Who and Credence. I would have to say they are also better than the Stones. So that leaves the Beach Boys and The Beatles. The Beatles did do homage to the Beach Boys in Back in the USSR, so they respected them. The biggest difference is the Beach Boys were about fun songs for the most part, but Good Vibration holds up against the Beatles stuff. In the end though I’m still going to have to go with the Beatles, because of how they defined the generation globally.
Who is the best male vocalist? My picks would be Frank Sinatra, Nat King Cole, Elvis, and Tony Bennett. Frank would easily out sing Elvis. Tony and Frank, now that is an interesting match up, but I think Frank would still win. However for pure voice my favorite is Nat King Cole.
What about the best female vocalist? Barbara Streisand puts them all to shame, though Ella Fitzgerald in a different genre could outdo Streisand. Streisand’s technical purity and clarity just isn’t possible to beat. Judy Garland comes close.
Then there's the question about who is the best baseball player of all time? Babe Ruth, Joe DiMaggio, Ty Cobb, Hank Aaron? Babe was always my favorite. He could throw and hit. Joe DiMaggio was a great hitter, but wasn’t as all around great like Ruth. Ty Cobb could hit. Hank Aaron I just don’t see the influence he had like Ruth. I have to say though the greatest was Jackie Robinson. I know I was throwing you a curve on that. Robinson could do it all too, but did it under some intense pressure, that say Willie Mays couldn’t claim.
Finally the best President of the U.S. (you don’t think I’d let it go do you?) It would be Lincoln, then Washington, then Reagan. The worst, Johnson (Lyndon), Harding, Nixon….and it’s becoming clear Obama, who is going down a similar road as Johnson only magnified about a trillion times.
Come on...George? Really?
Wednesday, April 15, 2009
The Moses Bladder
But the Gall Bladder, that’s an entirely different story. Some people said it was bad, others said probably not. Now let’s think about this. What is a gall bladder? It’s a little bag that squishes nasty yellow-green stuff into your colon. Sometimes they get stones in them and clog up. No one has volunteered to create roto-rooter for the gall bladder. Just the name of the thing is weird. Gall from the French Charles De Gaul maybe? Or just from Golly. Maybe it comes from the Gaul of it all because how dare it get stones in it. Chickens eat stones, I don’t. Then there is Bladder from, the English translation of “the Bladder”. There are water bladders, wine bladders, bladder bladders, and gall bladders. Why a bladder, because you can wring it out for the last drop? I saw Moses do that in the Ten Commandments the other day. Nothing was coming out. Maybe he had water bladder stones. Maybe that’s where he got the idea to pull water from a stone. So this is Moses’ fault. Everything eventually gets back to that.
So in the end this was a religious thing. Surgeons are afraid to remove the gall bladder because the ACLU (who won’t defend Moses and his tablets in the court house, but will say he has the right to be heard from but removing a gall bladder will cause people to think Biblically) will sue the surgeon’s because the surgeons want to separate a gall bladder from a person’s state, no matter how poor that state has become.
So I went in for the test on Friday to look at, what else, my stomach, since my gall bladder hurt. I turned to the Surgeon and said when you don’t find anything wrong with my stomach take my gall bladder out. He agreed, because there is money involved. But that’s when the paper work started. I had to have carpel tunnel surgery from all the signing, then they went ahead and took the gall bladder out. Now mind you, I was thinking Biblically, but I didn’t say it to anyone, so that doesn’t count. When the bladder thingy was out, of course we found out it didn’t squish as good as it used to. In fact I’d managed to scar the thing up. That happens when you pick your gall bladder I guess. Of course when I woke up I was in pain. But I could tell immediately that my 2 year battle was over.
By the time the nurses got through walking me up and down the hall like a puppy I had used so many muscles that I never knew existed trying to move around without scrapping off the little tapes on my incisions, that I was actually sorer from the exercise than the little cuts. So far no little globs of fat or scalpels have fallen out of the holes, and I don’t miss my gall bladder at all. I know we’ve been together for awhile now, but frankly I wouldn’t even friend it on Face Book.
I’ve known people who brought their gall bladders home in a little jar with them. I didn’t want mine. What am I going to do with it, wring it out to see if Moses is in there? No one said anything about stones either, so I’m not a chicken. So now I’m a bladderless, Colon owning, non-chicken, who did not eat the stone tablets when Moses tossed them. Sheesh this is as bad as turning 20…now I have to define myself all over again. There’s hope Obama, I might become a socialist after all! You can thank my diseased gall bladder the next time you speak to Congress.