All I want for Christmas

I should have probably recognized the signs early. We were just finishing a difficult year, full of court cases and other trauma, and were getting ready for the second round when the year started. Then Cholo died. We were still on the outs with extended family. My mother was not overly supportive of our view. My dad’s dementia got worse. Then I lost my job. I appreciated the job; I really liked the company. I just hated what I was doing. The money was starting to get interesting too. So now, I was a big loser on top of it all. My Dad decided I was a charity case and was making up reasons for me to work for him. I could not find a job even though I now hold an MBA. I think that is actually part of the problem. As our big day in court approached, I landed in the hospital nearly dead. I missed the court date. We won, sort of. There was a smudge that did not belong. Now I do not like most of my extended family, I have a besmirched name and no job and because of no insurance financially ruined. A friend of mine from school gave me a low paying job with him that might develop into something. My wife has worked her guts out this year trying to keep us afloat. Now my dad ends up in the hospital with chest pains and the hospital acts like a bunch of jerks, threatening to report us to social services. They did not give him his dementia medicine and kept him there for four days when two would have been plenty. Now he is staying at my stepsister’s house and I am supposed to figure out what we are going to do with him.
It has been a bad year, but I am not really all that down about it. Maybe a little worn out, but I really am not in the mood for the “holiday season” right now. I do not want any gifts. I do not want any parties. I do not want to be invited anywhere. I want to be left alone and leave town. Some nice peace and quiet would do nicely. I do not want to hear the kids argue, I do not want to shop, I do not want to over-eat. I want to be left alone for now. I do not want any more problems. I do not want any more experiences that will make me grow. I want to be happy. I want to stop worrying. I want to do something I want to do and make it matter, whatever that might be. I do not want to listen to Hillary and Bill, Obama and Oprah, or Mitt and all those other people who think they are the answer to the world’s problems. I want the Jazz to win a championship. I want my family to be happy and together and out of trouble. I want gas prices back at 25 cents a gallon. I want some hope for the future, and I want to stop feeling as if my life is a failure. Give me that stuff, and then we will talk about Christmas and Happy New Years. Until then turn off the commercialism and on the way out turn out the lights on the tree.