My Current Affair

I am doing something I should not. My wife drove me to it. Therefore, the blame really is hers. But I would not want her to find out about it either. She asked for it really, so it really should not surprise her, but never the less its best if she does not know. Life is too short to have to deal with such a potentially divisive thing.
I do not mean to hurt her by doing this. I just have needs. At some point, I recommend this to everyone to try this sometime. It is an interesting “experience” and opens your eyes a lot to what really goes on in today’s world.
Oh, no! Not THAT! I am talking about when we get into bed my wife does not like me watching television because it keeps her awake. I need to have some time to unwind and watch the news and get caught up. I mean there is a real election fight going on right now. It is fascinating to follow. So what I did is wait for her to fall asleep and I turned the TV back on to CNN and MSNBC and Fox News. Flipping back and forth to try to stay out of commercials as much as possible. However, I had the TV muted. Aside from the scrolling newscasts at the bottom of the screen, “What,” I hear you cry, “Do you think you’ll get out of something like that.” Not much if it’s just Larry King blathering on about something liberal. Nevertheless, watch the debates, or even better a rally for one of the candidates. I watched a Bush press conference with some group that way. Have no idea what he said, but it was sure fun to watch his expressions.
Doing this I realized how old McCain is getting. How phony Susan Surandon is standing in the middle of a bunch of Edwards supporters in Vermont. How old Bill Clinton is getting to look…and how totally rehearsed he is when he stands behind Hillary. It is probably not fair, but I also learned Hillary wears a boatload of makeup, and is quite chunky. Romney is smooth, Huckabee is a jerk, putting on a show, and Obama…well I think Obama believes he can win and might even believe his own message.
That is telling right there. I am a Romney fan politically, so not much danger of voting for Obama there, but he is beginning to feel a bit Kennedyesque to me…and Hillary a bit Billesque (or was that Burlesque, hard to tell). Reagan’s heir appears to be Romney, even though McCain wants to be. Thompson, though he would not look very good in the shorts he wore on Love Boat, still can play to the camera, he just cannot campaign. I am missing someone…oh yeah Rudy…I think he is missing something, a campaign.
Try it; you will have a new outlook on life. Just do not wake my wife.

All I want for Christmas

I should have probably recognized the signs early. We were just finishing a difficult year, full of court cases and other trauma, and were getting ready for the second round when the year started. Then Cholo died. We were still on the outs with extended family. My mother was not overly supportive of our view. My dad’s dementia got worse. Then I lost my job. I appreciated the job; I really liked the company. I just hated what I was doing. The money was starting to get interesting too. So now, I was a big loser on top of it all. My Dad decided I was a charity case and was making up reasons for me to work for him. I could not find a job even though I now hold an MBA. I think that is actually part of the problem. As our big day in court approached, I landed in the hospital nearly dead. I missed the court date. We won, sort of. There was a smudge that did not belong. Now I do not like most of my extended family, I have a besmirched name and no job and because of no insurance financially ruined. A friend of mine from school gave me a low paying job with him that might develop into something. My wife has worked her guts out this year trying to keep us afloat. Now my dad ends up in the hospital with chest pains and the hospital acts like a bunch of jerks, threatening to report us to social services. They did not give him his dementia medicine and kept him there for four days when two would have been plenty. Now he is staying at my stepsister’s house and I am supposed to figure out what we are going to do with him.
It has been a bad year, but I am not really all that down about it. Maybe a little worn out, but I really am not in the mood for the “holiday season” right now. I do not want any gifts. I do not want any parties. I do not want to be invited anywhere. I want to be left alone and leave town. Some nice peace and quiet would do nicely. I do not want to hear the kids argue, I do not want to shop, I do not want to over-eat. I want to be left alone for now. I do not want any more problems. I do not want any more experiences that will make me grow. I want to be happy. I want to stop worrying. I want to do something I want to do and make it matter, whatever that might be. I do not want to listen to Hillary and Bill, Obama and Oprah, or Mitt and all those other people who think they are the answer to the world’s problems. I want the Jazz to win a championship. I want my family to be happy and together and out of trouble. I want gas prices back at 25 cents a gallon. I want some hope for the future, and I want to stop feeling as if my life is a failure. Give me that stuff, and then we will talk about Christmas and Happy New Years. Until then turn off the commercialism and on the way out turn out the lights on the tree.

Baseball

I like baseball. I am sad it is over for another year. I was sorry to see a sweep in the World Series, even though it was fun to watch. Nevertheless, it ended too soon. Boston was dominant this year and could be for several more seasons. I enjoy the intrigue and chance of winning up until the last out. I love baseball for the statistics and what they tell about a team and players. I spent 20 years working in little league and figuring stats. It gave me a career in radio with the announcing I did, but I loved watching the kids develop and become stars. I loved the statistics that showed them exactly what the team could work on. I do not watch the stats that closely in the Majors now, and I do not watch a ton of games, just an occasional Saturday game, but the playoffs and World Series are my season.
I will say I was upset that Fox would only show the New York and Chicago teams this year. I like the Dodgers. I would have liked to be familiar with Colorado, Arizona, Seattle. The Red Sox, Mets and Yankees are fun to watch, but there are more teams out there. I suspect Fox was a bit disappointed Colorado got into the World Series from a ratings point of view. But for baseball lovers it was a great story and great for the game to see somebody else for a change. Now it is over for the year. Fortunately, the basketball season starts not too far behind it. So now, I am watching that with interest. However, it is not baseball. It is harder to be the star player in basketball than baseball, because there are usually only one or two stars on a basketball team. In baseball, you have nine chances (sometimes 10) to have a star. The stars shine, but so can the others on the team. At any given moment, someone can get a clutch hit, make a great defensive play or even score a run. So I will put baseball out of my head for another season. It was a fun one. Go Jazz.

Who are you Smarter than?

For the past year or so, I have spent most of my viewing pleasure on Fox and PBS and occasionally the CW. Now that “Malcolm in the Middle” reruns are off the air, and Fox and PBS played around with their schedules, I moved around a bit to some of the other networks, CBS, NBC and ABC. I was caught up in “Law and Order” and “Criminal Minds,” among others. With the new season, I like programs such as “Life”, “Reaper” and” Back to You”. My guilty pleasure is “Are You Smarter than a Fifth Grader”.
This is not a review of the new season. However, maybe it is. I suspect, though, it is more of a commentary on television in general. I am not amused. I know with cable or satellite there are some different choices, but what I see on broadcast television is a sorry commentary on the creativity of the program makers, the network gurus and perhaps society in general.
All I have seen lately revolves around two themes. Murder and the supernatural are the primary story lines. Sex is tiresome and offensive (I turn those shows off).
Some shows obviously are better. For instance, “Supernatural” puts “Ghost Whisperer” to shame. Nevertheless, the themes all revolve around blood and ghosts or vampires. Did “Buffy the Vampire Slayer” miss a few, and they bit the necks of TV executives, and now they are all under the spell of the dark-side?
Even though I like the show, “Bones” gets grosser and more shocking every week. All in the name of good fun and realism, I suppose. “House” beat up on Mormons recently, and has a God vs. Atheists agenda. Why can no one come up with something besides cop or hospital shows? What is the fascination with the occult these days? It seems the writers, producers, and executives in TV land are not smarter than a third grader. I think I will go read something and plan a vacation to meet Jeff Foxworthy (by the way, the statistics on this article put it at a seventh grade reading level, so I’m afraid the TV executives won’t get it…sorry).

Angel Nurse

My stay in the hospital was no fun obviously, but there was a time when I felt like someone really cared about me. There was a point where I was bleeding my first night in and they had to do an emergency colonoscopy and endoscopy. My blood pressure was so low, I could not have anesthesia. I did not enjoy the torture. I could feel the hose the doctor used and feel them pushing it through every curve and cranny in my body.
I do not know which end was worse the upper or lower gastrointestinal track. The thing made me gag severely and the other just plain hurt every time they moved it in further or twisted it around. It is not a good experience.
There were three big people holding me down and making sure, I did not move, or that I kept the thing you hold in your teeth in place. Those people were effective, and necessary. Much of the movement was involuntary. The language was not horrible, but I was not G rated either. Didn’t get as far as R. They even had me strapped down on top of it all. That was not pleasant to have these people on top of me, and the restriction was irritating, but I really did not protest or mind. I knew what they were doing. Funny thing is I did not even hate the doctor running the hose. I knew she was doing her job. I did not like it and in the end was just begging them to take out the hose. They never found anything, through all the torture.
However, in that time that seemed to be an eternity, there was a female nurse there. I did not see her face; I did not know who she was or where she came from. I did not see her again that I know of. Through the entire process, she stroked my hand gently on the back of it. Even when everyone was telling me to just relax and concentrate on my breathing (how do you do that when your mouth is full of a hose and your gag reflex is going nuts?) she just gently stroked and patted the back of my hand.
Do not get me wrong I was miserable but too weak to do anything about anything that was going on. I even thought, so this is what it feels like to die. However, there was an angel nurse there. I wish I had her name. She seemed to genuinely care and try to make me feel better. I do not know if that is something they train nurses to do to calm people down (I was not agitated, just in pain), or if it is something she just did instinctively. Nevertheless, it was nice and made the experience less traumatic.
It is interesting even though I was very low on blood and blood pressure, I never passed out and I always was intellectually there, if not always able to speak. The only time I really went out during the whole ordeal was when they gave me the drugs to do so. I was not prepared or expecting that. I remember the whole thing. When the Paramedic wanted to get me to respond to him, I had my eyes closed and he wanted me to look at him. I did and I told him I was there and answered all his questions, I just could not move and wanted my eyes closed, and never passed out. I really appreciated too what the paramedics did, they had to get me down the stairs and I was just too weak to do it myself. They brought in a chair that rolled me down the stairs. I felt bad for them, but they did a great job too. I believe they saved my life. I hated the ambulance ride though, very bumpy. Picture yourself riding in the back of a pickup truck lying down.
I am almost back to normal, still a bit sick and dizzy, but up and about again. Thank you my angel nurse and paramedics.

Hospital Hell

I spent 10 days in the hospital recently. I don't recommend it. I can't figure out why it's necessary to wake someone up at 3am to weigh them. The nurses at the third hospital I stayed at would let you sleep, oh maybe three hours, then wake you up to puncture you, or give you a pill, or weigh you, or just to wake you up and chat. This third hospital also insisted on this very annoying tube down through my nose into my stomach. They wanted to make sure the bleeding wasn't going on there. I told them we had done plenty of tests and diverticulitis in the colon was the problem, but they still insisted on the nose thing. Not only did it give me a 3 day headache, but it accomplished nothing but make me angry and feel like I was going to puke any second. The one good thing that came out of it is I didn't have to drink a second gallon of this stuff called Go Lightly. That was like drinking a gallon of dish soap. I got even though. I asked the Dr. to at least give me something so the thing didn't irritate me. Morphine and some relaxer put me out cold. They pumped the stuff in and I pumped the stuff out the other end...but of course I was not awake, so they got to clean me and the bed up. Unfortunately the Dr. didn't get the joy of his results. I went a week without food or water. They wouldn't even give me ice chips for most of it. Finally some nurse had sympathy on me. I finally got a liquid diet on a Friday. First food since Sunday. Boy did that Jello taste good. But then they kicked me out. Food was suddenly OK. I was back that night and spent the weekend and most of Monday at the hospital that never sleeps. It's been about a week now and after 12 units of blood, I'm still pretty weak and dizzy when I walk around. But at least I can sleep longer than 2 hours, and the IVs are disconnected. Things could be worse.

Florida: Land of no people

I went to Florida and it helped my obvious depression. It was too hot, but it was somewhere else. The Gulf of Mexico was 85 degrees. I like warm water. I don’t know the temperature of the Atlantic at Cocoa Beach the day we went but it wasn’t as warm, but certainly nicer than the Pacific. The waves were bigger though. I thoroughly enjoyed the places we visited. We didn’t do Disney…they are just prohibitively expensive. Too bad I like the concept at Disney. They have finally priced themselves to the point I just won’t pay it. The Kennedy Space Center is very interesting. And there is a ride at one of the Universal Parks that was worth the trip by itself. The Spiderman 3-d was amazing. The best 3-d presentation I’ve ever seen.

The one thing I wondered while we were there is where do the people live? I came to the conclusion no one lives in Florida. Those who claim to are really shipped in from somewhere else or are robots. We did see one little town called Celebration. There were actual Town Houses there, and it almost had a feel of being a movie set. The place was clean and no one on the street, while doing its best to be a prop. There was even a police car on the side of the street, with no one in it. We went to see the Harry Potter 5 film at a small theater, with free refills on the popcorn and soda. We went the day after the movie release. It was a 2 theater complex. There were maybe five people in the theater with us. I could not believe the emptiness. Where I’m from you have to stand in line still to get into the show.

There was no one there from Florida. People from Scotland and England, and Poland, and Wyoming, and Ohio…there were no Floridians. So who created the voting problem in Gore vs. Bush? Where were all the Potter fans? The news said there was a small plane that crashed into a couple houses somewhere in Orlando while we were there. We saw some smoke. But we saw no houses anywhere. We saw an alligator and a lot of water. There were tons of tourists. Maybe that was the problem, no one really lives in Florida and so no one really voted. The ballots were not really punched at all. I think the place is a pretend state. I’ve seen thick woods in New York and Connecticut. But there if you drive around a little you at least see some houses nestled in the trees. I guess I wonder about everyone who supposedly retires to live in Florida, where do they go? There were a ton of people at Clearwater beach the day we went, but none of them were from Florida.

Is it possible that Floridians avoid the beaches and the tourist areas? I saw a commercial about some political proposition to do something for the residents of Orlando for a change, now they have created a tourist Mecca. I would have voted against it. The idea was to raise taxes on hotel rooms so that visitors would pay for whatever it was the locals wanted. I can’t pass judgment on that we have something similar going on here where I live, but if no one really lives there who is going to vote for the proposition? The tourist can’t vote. Sounds like taxation without representation to me. There was one place in Wyoming we found that was at least honest about its local population….2. We met the entire population of that town that day. They were surprisingly enough from Wyoming. Florida needs some towns like that. They need a place where the visitors can go look at Floridians. I enjoyed Harry Potter without all the crowds, but it’s un-American to sit alone in a blockbuster without a bunch of others. Maybe they take the Harry Potter is evil movement more seriously than I do. But I suspect that must be programmed into the robot locals, by some anti Harry person. The one real person who lives there must hate Harry. They probably didn’t even get the last book.

Somehow that seems weird to me. Harry has grown up with my kids. I love the series and the books. But I’ve also been told how evil I must be to enjoy such trash. Somehow that comes off hollow to me because that same source loves Disney, with their witches, dwarves, beasts, and a mouse who is some wizard’s apprentice. So maybe that is what happened to the Floridians, they weren’t blown away by hurricanes, they were put under a spell to remain hidden from the tourists. That’s why the prices at Disney are so high, the overhead necessary to maintain the spell. Which explains the warm water in the Gulf…Florida is really Hell. It explains how hot it was down there. It also explains why people retire to Florida and are never seen again. It is really Pleasure Island from Pinocchio where you go and have fun, but in the end you’ll just pay the taxes for the devils that are hidden from view, the locals. It is in the end the reason why Florida doesn’t vote well. They are really evil voters who are thrust to hell after their lives in New York. Don’t get me started about the evils in New York.