Why does McDonalds insist on running that stupid ice coffee commercial? It is annoying and quite absurd. First off, the person holding the cup; who holds a cup like that walking the street (hmmm subliminal message about the morals of a person drinking their ice coffee?)? Do they think they are in the NFL and can straight arm their way down the street? “Excuse me lady, I have to hold my coffee out here. It’s kind of a radar detector so I don’t bump into something…well so I know when I’ve bumped…well so I’ll know to say I’m sorry after I knocked you down and plowed over you.”
Maybe it is a way to get a better place in line. All you have to do is turn in a circle and everyone will have to move away. It’s kind of like the people on their cell phones…they have their little space they pace in. Next time you want to be irritating, stand in the path the person on the cell phone is walking. The looks are priceless.
So in essence McDonalds is telling us that if you have ice coffee no one can get in your way, and if they do you’ll knock them over. So your fundamental nature is that you are a tough guy if you drink McDonald’s ice coffee. Hillary probably drinks it. Bush for sure does. Barrack, he drinks Frappes. He has to in order to bowl the way he does.
The Utah Jazz should drink McDonald’s Ice Coffee, but they don’t, at least not at home. We all know in Utah liquor and coffees are outlawed; but polygamy, now there’s something you can sink your teeth into (or do you sip it through a straw?). So pass the 14 year old and mind the milk.
I wonder if that guy who wants the NBA to cancel the Houston/Utah game because Houston is in Texas, and because they are in Texas T. Mac must be responsible for the family services down there taking all those good little “Mormon” kids. Oh wait, they aren’t Mormon. Neither is T-Mac…so it all works out. I wonder if T-Mac drinks McDonald’s Ice Coffee. That's not possible if it means your tough (ouch!). He probably drinks powdered milk.
We know the FLDS kids don’t dink MCdonald's Ice Coffee. They all drink mother’s milk if you believe all the news stories. I wonder if any of the FLDS kids jumped on those beds in the temple? I hope not, they’d spill their McDonald’s Ice Coffee the Jeff’s family is forcing them to drink, or not to drink, I don’t know which it is anymore because they aren’t Mormons. We all know Mormons are the only people on the earth who don’t drink McDonald’s ice coffee.
I don’t drink McDonald’s Ice Coffee so I must be Mormon. So in essence McDonalds is practicing religious bigotry with their commercial. I wonder what Reverend Wright would say about that? “G.D. McDonalds; it’s in the Bible!” It probably is, somewhere. The book of Ronald, chapter 2, I think.
Illegal aliens don’t drink enough McDonald’s Ice Coffee. We need to send them back, until they toughen up. We need them to drink more or get out; our economy depends on their consumption of McDonald’s Ice Coffee.
So here’s the moral I guess: If you drink McDonald’s Ice Coffee you’re a hooker and a tough Line Baker in the NFL, who knocks down little old ladies in the grocery store. You are Non-Mormon, an FLDS child (who jumps on the bed), and a Democrat, who hates McDonalds, and you are cheering for the Houston Rockets. And you might be a red neck illegal alien.
McDonalds needs to start writing Hillary commercials. They are so full of meaning, and their advertising budget is huge. We could see a Hillary commercial during every station break. McCain never had it so good (he drinks Diet Lime Coke I think).
Thursday, April 24, 2008
Saturday, March 29, 2008
Don't Count on It
Glenn Beck has it right, I do not like either party and I do not trust any of the politicians to do what they say they will, because they will not. So what is there to trust in? Religion aside, and I know for me it is what life really should be, but that aside what in this world can we count on?
We can pretty well plan on gaining weight. We can also plan to get older. We can plan on the fact that business will continue to make money and not give us much of it. We can count on the fact that government will not get smaller and taxes will not go down. We can count on the world trying to keep Oil king. I wonder what spurred the move away from whale blubber to oil. I know, the car, but why didn’t they create a car that ran on blubber? We can always breed whales. We do not have many dinosaurs to kill and squash under sand for thousands of years.
Why can’t we figure out how to make cars run on something else? Why do we have to grow tons of corn to put in our cars so that we cannot afford beef in a year or so? Why can’t people who make decisions look long term and not just to the next election? We can count on leadership to be mediocre at best; we can count on so-called leaders to do the expedient rather than the right thing. We can count on the fact that they will speak to us to make us excited. Public Relations is an art and political science has discovered lots of societal formulas. So we get Obama exciting everyone to hope for socialism, even though he really doesn’t believe it will work. We hear Obama saying he will get out of Iraq with his public mouth and behind the scenes, he is saying well let us talk about it and do what Bush is trying to do anyway.
Then there’s Hillary target Clinton. The one who is picked on and shot at and deserves the presidency because she lived with one. The problem is what experience did she get from Bill? It must be how to bomb Iraq when you are being impeached? Obviously, she learned to duck under fire in her mind. They always say to be successful at something you need to visualize it. It depends on what is is, whether she misspoke or lied.
McCain is old. He is too old. We did that with one President already and he forgot that he had a second term and what is is, or where it went, or why it was.
We can count on both parties to hate the result of the election and promise to fix it in the mid-term and next election. We can count on the Republicans in Congress to discover thrift again. We can count on the democrats to tax and spend and blame the Republicans who set the example.
We can count on prices to go up on everything but wages. Obama has promised to raise taxes. Hillary has promised whatever you want. McCain has promised to go on trips overseas.
I promise to be disgusted and vote. However, I also promise I will not like it. I can count on some cop somewhere trying to do his job to pick on me, instead of that person who just whizzed past us on their cell phone. I can count on someone else getting a job I would like and someone else to make the money I would like. I can count on everyone telling me to keep trying and it will work out. I can count on it will not. What I will not count on is this country surviving as a world leader much longer. We’re too busy counting on our past to sustain us, while we become a nation of lazy people, who believe someone else will do it, and those gay people aren’t so bad, and those illegal immigrants are doing my yard and cooking my food so I’m ok and they’re rotten, but I hope they keep the prices down for us, because heaven knows the economy stinks and my salary isn’t going up. Ask not what your country can do for you, Ask what Mexico can do, and what courtesy you can extend to someone who violates every moral character aspect that our past was founded on. What can we count on? Nothing.
We can pretty well plan on gaining weight. We can also plan to get older. We can plan on the fact that business will continue to make money and not give us much of it. We can count on the fact that government will not get smaller and taxes will not go down. We can count on the world trying to keep Oil king. I wonder what spurred the move away from whale blubber to oil. I know, the car, but why didn’t they create a car that ran on blubber? We can always breed whales. We do not have many dinosaurs to kill and squash under sand for thousands of years.
Why can’t we figure out how to make cars run on something else? Why do we have to grow tons of corn to put in our cars so that we cannot afford beef in a year or so? Why can’t people who make decisions look long term and not just to the next election? We can count on leadership to be mediocre at best; we can count on so-called leaders to do the expedient rather than the right thing. We can count on the fact that they will speak to us to make us excited. Public Relations is an art and political science has discovered lots of societal formulas. So we get Obama exciting everyone to hope for socialism, even though he really doesn’t believe it will work. We hear Obama saying he will get out of Iraq with his public mouth and behind the scenes, he is saying well let us talk about it and do what Bush is trying to do anyway.
Then there’s Hillary target Clinton. The one who is picked on and shot at and deserves the presidency because she lived with one. The problem is what experience did she get from Bill? It must be how to bomb Iraq when you are being impeached? Obviously, she learned to duck under fire in her mind. They always say to be successful at something you need to visualize it. It depends on what is is, whether she misspoke or lied.
McCain is old. He is too old. We did that with one President already and he forgot that he had a second term and what is is, or where it went, or why it was.
We can count on both parties to hate the result of the election and promise to fix it in the mid-term and next election. We can count on the Republicans in Congress to discover thrift again. We can count on the democrats to tax and spend and blame the Republicans who set the example.
We can count on prices to go up on everything but wages. Obama has promised to raise taxes. Hillary has promised whatever you want. McCain has promised to go on trips overseas.
I promise to be disgusted and vote. However, I also promise I will not like it. I can count on some cop somewhere trying to do his job to pick on me, instead of that person who just whizzed past us on their cell phone. I can count on someone else getting a job I would like and someone else to make the money I would like. I can count on everyone telling me to keep trying and it will work out. I can count on it will not. What I will not count on is this country surviving as a world leader much longer. We’re too busy counting on our past to sustain us, while we become a nation of lazy people, who believe someone else will do it, and those gay people aren’t so bad, and those illegal immigrants are doing my yard and cooking my food so I’m ok and they’re rotten, but I hope they keep the prices down for us, because heaven knows the economy stinks and my salary isn’t going up. Ask not what your country can do for you, Ask what Mexico can do, and what courtesy you can extend to someone who violates every moral character aspect that our past was founded on. What can we count on? Nothing.
Wednesday, February 13, 2008
The Eyes Have It
I have a question. I’m sure some body language expert somewhere can tell us about what significance eye blinking has in a conversation. I was watching the tube again with the sound off the other night and on one of the news channels I watched the commentators, and noticed the men blink rarely. As the women spoke as they made a strong point and gestured they would blink and usually twice. It seemed that their eye blinks indicated they were stressing a point. Then I watched a few commercials. Nobody blinked, indicating honesty I suppose.
Obama didn’t blink until he shut up. Clinton is a lip licker and blinks double too. Larry King was wide eyed (he really is starting look bad though, he doesn’t look healthy at all). I didn’t see McCain, but Huckabee, if his eyelids were fan blades we would be in a hurricane talking with him. To me he looked dishonest. I know, he’s supposed to be the righteous equivalent of a Barry Goldwater, but he looks like a slime ball to me. Romney was out of the race, so I didn’t get his blink rate, but I can see an occasional blink in my minds eye, but nothing like good old St. Huckabee.
I don’t know what any of that means, but I’m finding an interesting thing happening here in Romney country. Romney fans don’t want to vote for McCain. Fair enough. But if he puts Huckabee on the ticket with him (can he really avoid it now?) these same Romney folks want to vote for Obama! Now how does that make sense? Conservatives, won’t vote for the closest thing they have to it, in favor of a liberal? Why, because he speaks well? Probably. I said here before he is sounding themes in a Kennedy style. Some think its Martin Luther King’s style. It doesn’t matter which it is. He is promising to look to the future, to bring Shambala, (i.e. Camelot) with “Vigah” and style. He is making it work too. If he can convince the reddest state in the nation to go blue next election, more power to him. Just a word of warning though to those voters who are falling on the bandwagon, look beyond the rhetoric and look at what he wants to do
He wants to surrender in Iraq. He wants to nationalize health care. He wants to raise taxes. He wants to spend money. It sounds an awful lot like Bill Clinton, let alone Hillary. To go from the conservative camp to Obama’s reminds me of a turkey volunteering for Thanksgiving dinner. I hope the voters brains aren’t in the same category as the turkey.
Obama didn’t blink until he shut up. Clinton is a lip licker and blinks double too. Larry King was wide eyed (he really is starting look bad though, he doesn’t look healthy at all). I didn’t see McCain, but Huckabee, if his eyelids were fan blades we would be in a hurricane talking with him. To me he looked dishonest. I know, he’s supposed to be the righteous equivalent of a Barry Goldwater, but he looks like a slime ball to me. Romney was out of the race, so I didn’t get his blink rate, but I can see an occasional blink in my minds eye, but nothing like good old St. Huckabee.
I don’t know what any of that means, but I’m finding an interesting thing happening here in Romney country. Romney fans don’t want to vote for McCain. Fair enough. But if he puts Huckabee on the ticket with him (can he really avoid it now?) these same Romney folks want to vote for Obama! Now how does that make sense? Conservatives, won’t vote for the closest thing they have to it, in favor of a liberal? Why, because he speaks well? Probably. I said here before he is sounding themes in a Kennedy style. Some think its Martin Luther King’s style. It doesn’t matter which it is. He is promising to look to the future, to bring Shambala, (i.e. Camelot) with “Vigah” and style. He is making it work too. If he can convince the reddest state in the nation to go blue next election, more power to him. Just a word of warning though to those voters who are falling on the bandwagon, look beyond the rhetoric and look at what he wants to do
He wants to surrender in Iraq. He wants to nationalize health care. He wants to raise taxes. He wants to spend money. It sounds an awful lot like Bill Clinton, let alone Hillary. To go from the conservative camp to Obama’s reminds me of a turkey volunteering for Thanksgiving dinner. I hope the voters brains aren’t in the same category as the turkey.
Tuesday, January 22, 2008
My Current Affair
I am doing something I should not. My wife drove me to it. Therefore, the blame really is hers. But I would not want her to find out about it either. She asked for it really, so it really should not surprise her, but never the less its best if she does not know. Life is too short to have to deal with such a potentially divisive thing.
I do not mean to hurt her by doing this. I just have needs. At some point, I recommend this to everyone to try this sometime. It is an interesting “experience” and opens your eyes a lot to what really goes on in today’s world.
Oh, no! Not THAT! I am talking about when we get into bed my wife does not like me watching television because it keeps her awake. I need to have some time to unwind and watch the news and get caught up. I mean there is a real election fight going on right now. It is fascinating to follow. So what I did is wait for her to fall asleep and I turned the TV back on to CNN and MSNBC and Fox News. Flipping back and forth to try to stay out of commercials as much as possible. However, I had the TV muted. Aside from the scrolling newscasts at the bottom of the screen, “What,” I hear you cry, “Do you think you’ll get out of something like that.” Not much if it’s just Larry King blathering on about something liberal. Nevertheless, watch the debates, or even better a rally for one of the candidates. I watched a Bush press conference with some group that way. Have no idea what he said, but it was sure fun to watch his expressions.
Doing this I realized how old McCain is getting. How phony Susan Surandon is standing in the middle of a bunch of Edwards supporters in Vermont. How old Bill Clinton is getting to look…and how totally rehearsed he is when he stands behind Hillary. It is probably not fair, but I also learned Hillary wears a boatload of makeup, and is quite chunky. Romney is smooth, Huckabee is a jerk, putting on a show, and Obama…well I think Obama believes he can win and might even believe his own message.
That is telling right there. I am a Romney fan politically, so not much danger of voting for Obama there, but he is beginning to feel a bit Kennedyesque to me…and Hillary a bit Billesque (or was that Burlesque, hard to tell). Reagan’s heir appears to be Romney, even though McCain wants to be. Thompson, though he would not look very good in the shorts he wore on Love Boat, still can play to the camera, he just cannot campaign. I am missing someone…oh yeah Rudy…I think he is missing something, a campaign.
Try it; you will have a new outlook on life. Just do not wake my wife.
I do not mean to hurt her by doing this. I just have needs. At some point, I recommend this to everyone to try this sometime. It is an interesting “experience” and opens your eyes a lot to what really goes on in today’s world.
Oh, no! Not THAT! I am talking about when we get into bed my wife does not like me watching television because it keeps her awake. I need to have some time to unwind and watch the news and get caught up. I mean there is a real election fight going on right now. It is fascinating to follow. So what I did is wait for her to fall asleep and I turned the TV back on to CNN and MSNBC and Fox News. Flipping back and forth to try to stay out of commercials as much as possible. However, I had the TV muted. Aside from the scrolling newscasts at the bottom of the screen, “What,” I hear you cry, “Do you think you’ll get out of something like that.” Not much if it’s just Larry King blathering on about something liberal. Nevertheless, watch the debates, or even better a rally for one of the candidates. I watched a Bush press conference with some group that way. Have no idea what he said, but it was sure fun to watch his expressions.
Doing this I realized how old McCain is getting. How phony Susan Surandon is standing in the middle of a bunch of Edwards supporters in Vermont. How old Bill Clinton is getting to look…and how totally rehearsed he is when he stands behind Hillary. It is probably not fair, but I also learned Hillary wears a boatload of makeup, and is quite chunky. Romney is smooth, Huckabee is a jerk, putting on a show, and Obama…well I think Obama believes he can win and might even believe his own message.
That is telling right there. I am a Romney fan politically, so not much danger of voting for Obama there, but he is beginning to feel a bit Kennedyesque to me…and Hillary a bit Billesque (or was that Burlesque, hard to tell). Reagan’s heir appears to be Romney, even though McCain wants to be. Thompson, though he would not look very good in the shorts he wore on Love Boat, still can play to the camera, he just cannot campaign. I am missing someone…oh yeah Rudy…I think he is missing something, a campaign.
Try it; you will have a new outlook on life. Just do not wake my wife.
Tuesday, December 11, 2007
All I want for Christmas
I should have probably recognized the signs early. We were just finishing a difficult year, full of court cases and other trauma, and were getting ready for the second round when the year started. Then Cholo died. We were still on the outs with extended family. My mother was not overly supportive of our view. My dad’s dementia got worse. Then I lost my job. I appreciated the job; I really liked the company. I just hated what I was doing. The money was starting to get interesting too. So now, I was a big loser on top of it all. My Dad decided I was a charity case and was making up reasons for me to work for him. I could not find a job even though I now hold an MBA. I think that is actually part of the problem. As our big day in court approached, I landed in the hospital nearly dead. I missed the court date. We won, sort of. There was a smudge that did not belong. Now I do not like most of my extended family, I have a besmirched name and no job and because of no insurance financially ruined. A friend of mine from school gave me a low paying job with him that might develop into something. My wife has worked her guts out this year trying to keep us afloat. Now my dad ends up in the hospital with chest pains and the hospital acts like a bunch of jerks, threatening to report us to social services. They did not give him his dementia medicine and kept him there for four days when two would have been plenty. Now he is staying at my stepsister’s house and I am supposed to figure out what we are going to do with him.
It has been a bad year, but I am not really all that down about it. Maybe a little worn out, but I really am not in the mood for the “holiday season” right now. I do not want any gifts. I do not want any parties. I do not want to be invited anywhere. I want to be left alone and leave town. Some nice peace and quiet would do nicely. I do not want to hear the kids argue, I do not want to shop, I do not want to over-eat. I want to be left alone for now. I do not want any more problems. I do not want any more experiences that will make me grow. I want to be happy. I want to stop worrying. I want to do something I want to do and make it matter, whatever that might be. I do not want to listen to Hillary and Bill, Obama and Oprah, or Mitt and all those other people who think they are the answer to the world’s problems. I want the Jazz to win a championship. I want my family to be happy and together and out of trouble. I want gas prices back at 25 cents a gallon. I want some hope for the future, and I want to stop feeling as if my life is a failure. Give me that stuff, and then we will talk about Christmas and Happy New Years. Until then turn off the commercialism and on the way out turn out the lights on the tree.
It has been a bad year, but I am not really all that down about it. Maybe a little worn out, but I really am not in the mood for the “holiday season” right now. I do not want any gifts. I do not want any parties. I do not want to be invited anywhere. I want to be left alone and leave town. Some nice peace and quiet would do nicely. I do not want to hear the kids argue, I do not want to shop, I do not want to over-eat. I want to be left alone for now. I do not want any more problems. I do not want any more experiences that will make me grow. I want to be happy. I want to stop worrying. I want to do something I want to do and make it matter, whatever that might be. I do not want to listen to Hillary and Bill, Obama and Oprah, or Mitt and all those other people who think they are the answer to the world’s problems. I want the Jazz to win a championship. I want my family to be happy and together and out of trouble. I want gas prices back at 25 cents a gallon. I want some hope for the future, and I want to stop feeling as if my life is a failure. Give me that stuff, and then we will talk about Christmas and Happy New Years. Until then turn off the commercialism and on the way out turn out the lights on the tree.
Sunday, November 4, 2007
Baseball
I like baseball. I am sad it is over for another year. I was sorry to see a sweep in the World Series, even though it was fun to watch. Nevertheless, it ended too soon. Boston was dominant this year and could be for several more seasons. I enjoy the intrigue and chance of winning up until the last out. I love baseball for the statistics and what they tell about a team and players. I spent 20 years working in little league and figuring stats. It gave me a career in radio with the announcing I did, but I loved watching the kids develop and become stars. I loved the statistics that showed them exactly what the team could work on. I do not watch the stats that closely in the Majors now, and I do not watch a ton of games, just an occasional Saturday game, but the playoffs and World Series are my season.
I will say I was upset that Fox would only show the New York and Chicago teams this year. I like the Dodgers. I would have liked to be familiar with Colorado, Arizona, Seattle. The Red Sox, Mets and Yankees are fun to watch, but there are more teams out there. I suspect Fox was a bit disappointed Colorado got into the World Series from a ratings point of view. But for baseball lovers it was a great story and great for the game to see somebody else for a change. Now it is over for the year. Fortunately, the basketball season starts not too far behind it. So now, I am watching that with interest. However, it is not baseball. It is harder to be the star player in basketball than baseball, because there are usually only one or two stars on a basketball team. In baseball, you have nine chances (sometimes 10) to have a star. The stars shine, but so can the others on the team. At any given moment, someone can get a clutch hit, make a great defensive play or even score a run. So I will put baseball out of my head for another season. It was a fun one. Go Jazz.
I will say I was upset that Fox would only show the New York and Chicago teams this year. I like the Dodgers. I would have liked to be familiar with Colorado, Arizona, Seattle. The Red Sox, Mets and Yankees are fun to watch, but there are more teams out there. I suspect Fox was a bit disappointed Colorado got into the World Series from a ratings point of view. But for baseball lovers it was a great story and great for the game to see somebody else for a change. Now it is over for the year. Fortunately, the basketball season starts not too far behind it. So now, I am watching that with interest. However, it is not baseball. It is harder to be the star player in basketball than baseball, because there are usually only one or two stars on a basketball team. In baseball, you have nine chances (sometimes 10) to have a star. The stars shine, but so can the others on the team. At any given moment, someone can get a clutch hit, make a great defensive play or even score a run. So I will put baseball out of my head for another season. It was a fun one. Go Jazz.
Saturday, October 13, 2007
Who are you Smarter than?
For the past year or so, I have spent most of my viewing pleasure on Fox and PBS and occasionally the CW. Now that “Malcolm in the Middle” reruns are off the air, and Fox and PBS played around with their schedules, I moved around a bit to some of the other networks, CBS, NBC and ABC. I was caught up in “Law and Order” and “Criminal Minds,” among others. With the new season, I like programs such as “Life”, “Reaper” and” Back to You”. My guilty pleasure is “Are You Smarter than a Fifth Grader”.
This is not a review of the new season. However, maybe it is. I suspect, though, it is more of a commentary on television in general. I am not amused. I know with cable or satellite there are some different choices, but what I see on broadcast television is a sorry commentary on the creativity of the program makers, the network gurus and perhaps society in general.
All I have seen lately revolves around two themes. Murder and the supernatural are the primary story lines. Sex is tiresome and offensive (I turn those shows off).
Some shows obviously are better. For instance, “Supernatural” puts “Ghost Whisperer” to shame. Nevertheless, the themes all revolve around blood and ghosts or vampires. Did “Buffy the Vampire Slayer” miss a few, and they bit the necks of TV executives, and now they are all under the spell of the dark-side?
Even though I like the show, “Bones” gets grosser and more shocking every week. All in the name of good fun and realism, I suppose. “House” beat up on Mormons recently, and has a God vs. Atheists agenda. Why can no one come up with something besides cop or hospital shows? What is the fascination with the occult these days? It seems the writers, producers, and executives in TV land are not smarter than a third grader. I think I will go read something and plan a vacation to meet Jeff Foxworthy (by the way, the statistics on this article put it at a seventh grade reading level, so I’m afraid the TV executives won’t get it…sorry).
This is not a review of the new season. However, maybe it is. I suspect, though, it is more of a commentary on television in general. I am not amused. I know with cable or satellite there are some different choices, but what I see on broadcast television is a sorry commentary on the creativity of the program makers, the network gurus and perhaps society in general.
All I have seen lately revolves around two themes. Murder and the supernatural are the primary story lines. Sex is tiresome and offensive (I turn those shows off).
Some shows obviously are better. For instance, “Supernatural” puts “Ghost Whisperer” to shame. Nevertheless, the themes all revolve around blood and ghosts or vampires. Did “Buffy the Vampire Slayer” miss a few, and they bit the necks of TV executives, and now they are all under the spell of the dark-side?
Even though I like the show, “Bones” gets grosser and more shocking every week. All in the name of good fun and realism, I suppose. “House” beat up on Mormons recently, and has a God vs. Atheists agenda. Why can no one come up with something besides cop or hospital shows? What is the fascination with the occult these days? It seems the writers, producers, and executives in TV land are not smarter than a third grader. I think I will go read something and plan a vacation to meet Jeff Foxworthy (by the way, the statistics on this article put it at a seventh grade reading level, so I’m afraid the TV executives won’t get it…sorry).
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